Sue Scheff and P.U.R.E.

With today’s teens, parents can struggle with them and the issues that they are confronted with.  As parent advocate, I believe in educating parents with “stuff” teens deal with including peer pressure and more.Take a moment to review my latest websites to help inform on teenagers today.

Teen Suicide

Teen Cults

Preventing Teen Drug Addiction

Teen Mischief 

Identity Crisis for Adopted Children

“Do you want your child going through school being picked on? I mean, kids get picked on for a number of things, millions of other things, and you want to add on?”

– Marisel Rodriguez, mother

There are lots of ways that kids judge other kids: Are they nice? Are they cute? Are they fun to be with? But there is another way that kids judge others that has nothing to do with who they are, but what they wear. And if this leads to a fashion battle between parent and child, some experts say it’s a battle parents need to lose.

How important is fashion to a teenager?

“I think that people choose their friends, or choose to talk to people at first, by what they wear and what they look like, so I guess it’s pretty important,” says Annie, 15. 

“We all do it subconsciously. We decide who we want to know better by what they’re wearing,” says Kristen, 15.

It may seem superficial, but in a University of Nebraska study of middle school students, more than one-third of the students surveyed said they’ve been bullied for wearing the “wrong” clothes.

“If a person went to school wearing tight skin pants — a boy for instance — he’ll be made fun of or he’ll be talked about, and it will lead to a fight or something,” says Thomas, 15. 

Thomas’ mom, Marisel Rodriguez, may not like the style of clothes her son wears, but she doesn’t stop him.

“His whole body fits in these pants,” she says, holding up Thomas’ jeans.

“Sometimes I don’t think she understands,” says Thomas.

In fact, she does. Rodriguez knows that if she chooses her son’s clothes, she won’t have to live with the consequences at school, Thomas will.

“Do you want your child going through school being picked on? I mean, kids get picked on for a number of things, millions of other things, and you want to add on?” says Rodriguez.

Experts say, within reason and within a budget, parents should let their kids decide what to wear because it’s one way parents can help their children fit in at school.

“Sometimes I’ll say things like, ‘if your child broke his leg, would you not give him crutches?’ It’s like you need to give a child as many advantages as you can,” says Nancy McGarrah, psychologist.

Tips for Parents

• Experts say it is extremely important to open the lines of communication with your kids. Consider the following tips: (Kaiser Family Foundation)
  • Start early
  • Initiate conversations
  • Create an open environment
  • Communicate your values
  • Listen to your child
  • Try to be honest
  • Be patient
  • Share your experiences
• Also, watch for behavioral changes. Children who are suffering from teasing and bullying may try to hide the hurt. They may become withdrawn from family and friends, lose interest in hobbies or turn to destructive habits such as alcohol, drugs or acts of violence. (Kaiser Family Foundation)
• Ask your children whether they have witnessed bullying at school, and what they’ve done if they have seen it.  Explain that while it may take courage to report it or tell the bully to stop, it’s the right thing to do.  (Bill Modzeleski, U.S. Department of Education)
• The bystanders to bullying are the biggest piece. If they set the climate and say, “We’re not going to tolerate this,” they can create a positive change. (Mary Ann Byrne, counselor, Stafford Co., Virginia)

References

• Kaiser Family Foundation
• U.S. Department of Education
• Stop Bullying Now (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

“Sandwiches, cookies, candy bars — I have no idea how many candy bars. Just everything I could get my hands on, and I’d just continuously eat until I went to bed.”

– Matt Wymer, 18

Anorexia and bulimia are the names that come to mind when we think of eating disorders. But there is another eating disorder more common than anorexia and bulimia combined, and some experts say it’s becoming a major health problem in America.

“As soon as I came home I’d throw down my backpack and just automatically start going through the refrigerator and cabinets and start eating. Sandwiches, cookies, candy bars — I have no idea how many candy bars. Just everything I could get my hands on, and I’d just continuously eat until I went to bed,” says Matt Wymer, 18.

Matt was a binge eater. According to a new study from Harvard Medical School, 3.5 percent of women and 2 percent of men suffer from this eating disorder. While these are small percentages, they translate into millions of people. Experts say that binging is a condition that often starts in childhood.

“You know we start at a very young age… you fall and scrape your knee [and someone says], ‘Oh, here, we’ll go get some ice cream, that’ll make it feel better.’ Or you go to the doctor, you get a lollypop; something bad happens, ‘Oh, here’s something that’s comforting,’” says Marilyn Tanner, R.D., pediatric dietician.

Matt looked for comfort because he was constantly teased about his weight.

“There’d be days when I’d come and pick him up from school and he’d get in the car and he’d start crying before I asked him anything,” says Cathy Wymer, Matt’s mother.

“I probably gave him whatever he wanted to try to make him happy, but it was the wrong way of doing it,” says Vernon Wymer, Matt’s father.

“I just felt better after I ate a lot,” says Matt.

Experts say the first line of treatment for binge eaters is to help them find other ways, besides food, to feel better.

“There are about five basic ways … that it just kind of boils down to. You write, you talk, you cry, you exercise, you laugh. Laughing also reduces the stress that lots of times people are feeling,” says Genie Burnett, Psy.D., clinical psychologist.

With the help of his doctor, Matt started a diet and a daily workout. He’s lost more than 150 pounds, he’s healthier and he says he’s more confident.

“I guess you’d say I’m happier than I used to be,” says Matt.

Tips for Parents

• Most people don’t even recognize they are engaging in emotional eating until they’ve gained a lot of weight. Parents should learn to recognize the warning signs – being overweight, having a history of weight fluctuations, eating alone, hoarding food, eating rapidly, eating until uncomfortably full, and having feelings of guilt or depression after eating. (The American Dietetic Association)
• Experts say encouraging kids to express their feelings can lower a child’s need to binge. Have younger kids draw pictures of how they are feeling. Afterward, discuss the drawings. (The American Dietetic Association)
• When older children feel the need to binge, distractions may help. Find other things to do such as walking, riding a bike or playing with the dog.  (The American Dietetic Association)
• Keep the kitchen stocked with plenty of fruits and vegetables. If children feel like binging, encourage them to have a small, healthy snack instead. (The American Dietetic Association)

References

• The American Dietetic Association

“Days after Ryan’s death, I got the courage to go back into his room and for whatever reason, I thought his computer might unravel some of the mystery. So I sat down at his computer…”

– John Halligan, Ryan’s father

Today, several states are considering legislation that would make cyberbullying a crime. This is in response to the suicide of 13-year-old Megan Meier, who hung herself in October 2006 after she was hoaxed, harassed and humiliated online. The bully in Megan’s case turned out to be a 47-year-old woman — a neighbor who won’t be prosecuted criminally because there’s no law that she violated. Megan’s parents want to change that.

The Halligans, whose son Ryan also committed suicide after being bullied online, understand this issue all too well.

It was 6:30 a.m. … morning routine at the Halligans. Ryan’s older sister opened the bathroom door.

“I felt like I couldn’t get any words out. All I could say was, ‘Ryan, dead. Ryan, dead. Bathroom.’ I couldn’t put a sentence together,” says Ryan’s sister, Megan Halligan, 18.

Ryan didn’t leave a note, but his dad found some clues.

“Days after Ryan’s death, I got the courage to go back into his room and for whatever reason, I thought his computer might unravel some of the mystery. So I sat down at his computer,” says John Halligan, Ryan’s father.

Halligan found hundreds of saved instant message (IM) conversations. John reads one that was written two weeks before Ryan died:

“It started off with the other boy starting the conversation, saying, ‘is this the last time I’m going to hear you complain?’ And, ‘you’re finally going to kill yourself?’ was the question. And my son said, ‘Yep.’ And the other boy replied, ‘Phew, it’s about F-‘n time.’ And my son replied back, ‘You’ll hear about it in the papers tomorrow.’”

Recent surveys show that 42 percent of kids have been bullied online. One in four has been bullied more than once, and 58 percent of those bullied never said a word to their parents. That’s why, experts say, parents should keep computers out in the open where they can read what’s on the screen. Parents also should talk with their children about cyberbullying, set up clear rules for communicating online, and learn who they are IMing and chatting with.

Even with precautions like these, cyberbullying can find its way into your child’s life. The Bryants, whose daughter, Erica, was also bullied online, learned that just because your kids are home doesn’t mean they’re safe.

“It was in my own home, but even in my own home, I wasn’t safe,” says Erica Bryant, now 18.

“I hated instant messaging. I hated the power it had to get in our house and hurt her,” says Linda Perloff, Erica’s mother.

“I’d also like to warn parents that you need to dig a little deeper in your child’s life, especially if they’re withdrawing from you. Take the time to snoop, if you will, into your child’s life,” says Kelly Halligan, Ryan’s mother.

Tips for Parents

Depression associated with Internet addiction comes not from the technology itself, but from the loss of other connections in a person’s life. Parents should be concerned if kids are not spending time with friends. (Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., psychotherapist)

Instead of forcing kids to get off the computer, try engaging them in conversation. Start by showing interest in what your child is doing online. Curiosity is an excellent healing approach. Once you have the child talking, you can suggest more fulfilling activities. (Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., psychotherapist)

Although the Internet can be a dangerous place, parents should not become overly fearful and ban kids from using the computer. Realize your child’s future success depends on being savvy with technology. (Kathleen Fitzgerald, director, CyberCamps)

Parents need to become involved in their children’s Internet use. Go online with your child. Teach them to make smart decisions online. (Kathleen Fitzgerald, Director, CyberCamps)
Chat rooms are among the most dangerous places on the web. (James Murray, Police Chief, Peachtree City, GA)

Are you at your wit’s end? Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent?  You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together. 

• Is your teen escalating out of control?
• Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?
• Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?
• Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?
• Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?
• Is your teen verbally abusive?
• Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?
• Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?
• Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?
• Does your teen belong to a gang?
• Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?
• Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?
• Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions?  Have they become withdrawn from society?
• Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever?  Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.
• Is your teen sexually active?
• Teen pregnancy?  www.sue-scheff.org
• Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?
• Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?
• Low self esteem and low self worth?
• Lack of motivation?  Low energy?
• Mood Swings?  Anxiety?
• Teen depression that leads to negative behavior? www.suescheff.org
• Eating Disorders?  Weight loss? Weight gain?
• Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?
• High School drop-out?
• Suspended or Expelled from school?
• Suicidal thoughts or attempts?
• ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?
• Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?
• Juvenile Delinquent?
• Conduct Disorder?
• Bipolar?
• Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
• Does your teen steal? 
• Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?
• Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent?  Are you at your wits end?

Does any of the above sound familiar?  Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone.  There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help. Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem.  One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.   

If you feel you are at your wits end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml   An informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child.  It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element.  In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems.  Be prepared – do your homework. 

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change.  Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention.  Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need.  Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. 

At Wit’s End is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there. Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does.  Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes.  Read my story at www.aparentstruestory.com for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.   I

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:

·         Helping Teens – not Harming them

·         Building them up – not Breaking them down

·         Positive and Nurturing Environments – not Punitive

·         Family Involvement in Programs – not Isolation from the teen

·         Protect Children – not Punish them      

 “My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end!  What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent.  

18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help.  As parents, we have limited to no control.  Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them.

I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW.  I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups.

It is unfortunate that in most cases the local therapy is very limited how it can help your teen.  The one hour once a week or even twice, is usually not enough to make permanent changes.  Furthermore getting your defiant teen to attend sessions can sometimes cause more friction and frustrations than is already happening.

This is the time to consider outside help such as a Therapeutic Boarding School or Residential Treatment Center.  However these parents with the 18-19 year olds have usually missed their opportunity.  They were hoping and praying that at 16 – 17 things would change, but unfortunately, if not address, the negative behavior usually escalates.

In the past 7+ years I have heard from thousands of parents – and most are hoping to get their child through High School and will be satisfied with a GED. It is truly a sad society of today’s teens when many believe they can simply drop out of school.  Starting as early as 14 years old, many teens are thinking this way and we need to be sure they know the consequences of not getting an education.  Education in today’s world should be our children’s priority however with today’s peer pressure and entitlement issues, it seems to have drifted from education to defiance – being happy just having fun and not being responsible.

I think there are many parents that debate whether they should take that desperate measure of sending a child to a program and having them escorted there – but in the long run – you need to look at these parents that have 18-19 year olds that don’t have that opportunity.  While you have this option, and it is a major decision that needs to be handled with the utmost reality of what will happen if things don’t change.  The closer they are to 18 – the more serious issues can become legally.  If a 17+ year old gets in trouble with the law, in many states they will be tried as an adult.  This can be scary since most of these kids are good kids making very bad choices and don’t deserve to get caught up the system.  As a parent I believe it is our responsible not to be selfish and be open to sending the outside of the home.  It is important not to view this as a failure as a parent, but as a responsible parent that is willing to sacrifice your personal feelings to get your child the help they need.

At 18, it is unfortunate, these kids are considered adults – and as parents we basically lose control to get them the help they need.  In most cases, which may be with your niece – if they know they have no other alternatives and this is the only option the parents will support, they will attend. 

As a parent advocate, I have heard many parents that turn to tough love as one of their last resorts to help their struggling teen. 

Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, tough love or “not enabling” the child to ruin or run the family unit.

Enduring life with a teen that is running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and sometimes psychical and verbal abuse. Tough love is exactly that: Tough. Loving our children is unconditional, but we don’t have to like what they are doing or how they are destroying their lives.

There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough!

This is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a Tough Love support groups, along with professional intervention.

This does not reflect you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family, it is the child that is making the bad choices and the family is suffering from it.

Many times tough love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last minute to intervene.

If you see that tough love is not working at home, it may be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home). Quality Residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly and rationally.

Tough love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside of the home for your child. While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur.

Tough love is a very painful and stressful avenue, however in many families, very necessary and very rewarding. Tough love if used correctly can be helpful. However if you are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground will be for nothing.

Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in deeper and more serious problems. Please confer with professionals or outside help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling your child you will do.

Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not alone.

By Sue Scheff

Founder of Parent’s Universal Resource Experts

Author of Wit’s End!

“They do have the cognitive functions that allow them to control their emotions and organize. They’re just not as good at it, during the adolescent years, as they will be during adulthood.”

– Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., neuroscientist, UCLA Department of Neurology

With advanced brain-imaging technology, researchers have been learning more about how the human brain develops. One mystery experts have explored is why teenagers act the way they do: rebellious, impulsive and too willing to take risks. Now we may have an answer: one part of the adolescent brain is growing too fast, while another is growing too slowly.

Teenagers experiment with drugs. Drive too fast. Get angry and don’t know why.

“Pretty much the rebellion stage started kicking in right about age 12,” recalls Kim, currently 15.

What happens at age 12? According to new research from Temple University, teenagers feel emotions intensely, and care about how other kids feel about them. All that emotion resides in a part of the brain that grows quickly during adolescence. Meanwhile, the rational, careful, thoughtful part of the brain develops more slowly. That imbalance can cause kids to take risks.

“The parts of the brain that continue to develop during adolescence are the parts of the brain that we might expect when we think about typical, negative adolescent behaviors,” says Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., neuroscientist, UCLA Dept. of Neurology.

In fact, the study found that when kids were surrounded by other kids while participating in a simulated driving game, they were twice as likely to take risks.

“We know that adolescents are bigger risk takers, we don’t need the brain to tell us that. We know that they get in more car accidents than adults do,” says Sowell.

Experts say the good news is that while it may not be easy to teach teens to avoid risks, it’s not impossible, either.

“They do have the cognitive functions that allow them to control their emotions and organize. They’re just not as good at it, during the adolescent years, as they will be during adulthood,” says Sowell.

Experts say it helps to teach kids to ask themselves a question: ‘if you do this, what are the possible consequences?’ And don’t answer for them.

“Also, it’s much more rewarding for them if they come to the conclusion. Because it’s really coming from their heart and they know that whatever happens, they did the right thing for themselves,” says Diana, 15.

Tips for Parents

• Sometimes, stresses in your life can actually come from your friends or peers. They may pressure you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, such as cheating, shoplifting, doing drugs or drinking, taking dangerous risks when driving a car, or having sex before you feel ready. (Nemours Foundation)
• Listen to your gut. If you feel uncomfortable, even if your friends seem to be okay with what’s going on, it means that something about the situation is wrong for you. This kind of decision-making is part of becoming self-reliant and learning more about who you are. (Nemours Foundation)
• Plan for possible pressure situations. If you’d like to go to a party but you believe you may be offered alcohol or drugs there, think ahead about how you’ll handle this challenge. Decide ahead of time — and even rehearse — what you’ll say and do. Learn a few tricks. If you’re holding a bottle of water or a can of soda, for instance, you’re less likely to be offered a drink you don’t want. (Nemours Foundation)
• Arrange a “bail-out” code phrase you can use with your parents without losing face with your friends. For instance, you might call home from a party where you’re feeling pressure to drink alcohol and say, “Can you come drive me home? I have a terrible earache.” (Nemours Foundation)
• Learn to feel comfortable saying “no.” With good friends you should never have to offer an explanation or apology. But if you feel you need an excuse for, say, turning down a drink or smoke, think up a few lines you can use casually. (Nemours Foundation)
• Hang with people who feel the same way you do. Choose friends who will speak up with you when you’re in need of moral support, and be quick to speak up for a friend in the same way. If you’re hearing that little voice telling you a situation’s not right, chances are others hear it, too. Just having one other person stand with you against peer pressure makes it much easier for both people to resist. (Nemours Foundation)

References

• Nemours Foundation
• UCLA Department of Neurology

“You can get away with it a thousand times, but it only takes one time to be dead or to have killed one of your peers driving with you.”

– Steven, 17

Despite the billions of dollars spent over the last several years to warn young people about the dangers of drinking and driving, the news from the National Institutes of Health isn’t all that good.

“It just happened so often that people would do that — just get in a car and drink and drive; just start driving around because they were bored or whatever, and that would happen at almost every party. It was just one of those things,” says Wes, 17.

It is just one of those things that kills 17 thousand people each year and injures a quarter of a million others. The latest numbers from the National Institutes of Health show that, in a two-week period, a third of high school seniors say they’ve been drunk behind the wheel or have been riding with a drunk driver.

“You can get away with it a thousand times, but it only takes one time to be dead or to have killed one of your peers driving with you,” says Steven, 17.

That “one time” happened to Wes and his friends.

“Right before we wrecked I remember everybody laughing and having a good time. That’s the last thing I remember, everybody was laughing,” says Wes.

Then he discovered that two of his friends had died in the crash. Experts say most teens know the danger of drinking and driving but too often they ignore it, especially after they’ve been drinking.
 
“There is a tremendous body of research that shows people who are drunk tend to be more aggressive and more impulsive, less capable in making rational decisions,” says Robert Margolis, clinical psychologist.

His advice to parents: be tough; don’t just say no drinking and driving, but no to drinking at all.

“I know that if you fight this battle you’re going to be unpopular, but isn’t that part of being a parent? Aren’t there certain things worth fighting? Aren’t there certain lines worth drawing, where you say, ‘Okay, I’m not going to worry so much about how long his hair is. I may not worry about the CDs that he listens to. But when it comes to drinking, then I’m going to fight that battle,” says Margolis.

“I just felt so stupid forever.  I should have just said something when we were getting in the car because they would have listened. If I would have said, ‘This is a bad idea’ I don’t think anybody would have gone,” says Wes.

Tips for Parents

• Motor vehicle crashes are the number one killer of youth ages 15 to 20. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administrations, SAMHSA)
• Tell your child or any young person you care about that you do not want him getting into a car with someone who has had even one drink or who has been using illegal drugs. (SAMHSA)
• Tell your child that you want her to call you if she can’t get a safe ride home from a party or other event. Emphasize that you want her to call even if she herself has been drinking or using drugs (reassure her that, while you do not support this behavior, her safety is your first concern). (SAMHSA)
• If you host parties for young people, do not allow them to drink alcohol or use drugs. Do not serve alcohol, even to college students. Check on your guests regularly to make sure that no one is sneaking alcohol or other illegal substances into your home. The legal consequences of allowing underage drinking and drug use n your home can be severe, especially if a minor is injured or killed during the party or after leaving your house. (SAMHSA)
• Begin a coalition to address underage drinking and impaired driving in your community. Write to your local paper and legislators to gain support. (SAMHSA)
• Be a good role model. If you have been drinking, don’t drive. We all know that young people learn by example — don’t send mixed messages. (SAMHSA)

References

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administrations (SAMHSA)

Teen Depression Risk Factors

There are a number of factors that put a teen at a higher risk for developing depression. Many of these risk factor are red flags for parents, friends, and loved ones to watch out for in a teenager. These factors include:

• Experiencing problems or difficulty at school.
• Going through a traumatic event. Examples include parents who get divorced, abusive parents, the death of a loved one, or a break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Weight loss or weight gain.
• Difficulty dealing with anger.
• Developing an interest in violence or a becoming increasingly fearful of violence.
• Difficulty sleeping.
• Developing an interest in drugs or alcohol.

Teenage depression is the leading cause of teenage suicide. Yet, approximately 80% of teenagers thinking of suicide leave clues. Through careful observation and an understanding of the risk factors of teenage depression, many of these suicides can be prevented.

Causes of Teenage Depression

Teenage depression is largely caused by stress. During the adolescent years, a person undergoes a number of emotional, physical, and mental changes. First of all, hormones start raging and bring with them a plethora of confusing emotions. In addition, teenagers often feel a great deal of pressure from their parents and from teachers to do well in school and to participate in athletics. Furthermore, peer pressure and an overwhelming desire to do whatever it takes to fit in with their peers causes teenagers a great deal of stress.

The stress teenagers feel can result in anger, nervousness, and an inability to concentrate. It can also lead to physical symptoms such as nausea and headaches. Ultimately, the stress can cause social withdraw and depression.

Preventing Teenage Depression

Thankfully, there are several steps a parent can take to prevent teenage depression from setting in on their child.

The first is to always utilize positive disciplinary techniques. Desirable behaviors should be reinforced through praise and recognition rather than utilizing punishment and shame techniques. Punishment and shaming only serves to leave the teenager feeling worthless and inadequate.

At the same time, parents must be careful not to overprotect or to overdirect their teenagers. Children and young adults need to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes.

Protecting your teen from experiencing mistakes, or continually telling your child what to do rather than letting him or her make independent decisions, will ultimately make them feel as if you have know faith in his or her ability to make decisions.

It is also important to never push your teen to participate in certain activities because you want him or her to reach your unachieved goals. Your child needs to find his or her own sense of identity and worth.